Humorous Horror
by jerrys buddy
Summary: My day gets screwed up, but I get help from our favorite family, THE SIMPSONS! Please read and review! :)
1. Default Chapter

Humorous  
Horror  
  
~ A/N: please don't report me for not putting it in the wrong category. On the next part the Simpsons are going to be in my chapter. This is just an intro on what happened  
  
Well it was like any other day; I get up and go to school, come back home, do my homework, eat, and sleep. But today was the funniest and sort of horrible day of my life. As usual I wake up at 6:32 and get ready for school. Around 6:50 A.M. I get out and go to the bus stop, which is right across the street from my house. My friend Neal came along to the bus stop too.  
  
"Hey Neal." I said to him, "Another boring day at school."  
  
"Yeah.", Neal said. Then the sixth grader called Tyler asked Neal a question.  
  
"What happened to the sleeve of your shirt Neal?" Tyler said.  
  
"Yeah, did you poke holes on it on purpose?" David, my other friend said.  
  
"I didn't poke it I bit it." Neal said.  
  
"WHAT?" I asked, "You bit your sleeve to make holes?"  
  
"I was hungry!" Neal said. Then the bus came and Neal was now making holes on his other sleeve. He was having a hard time because he was using his teeth but then he started using his arms. He then ripped the sleeve of his sweat shirt and ripped the collar of too.  
  
"What are you doing Neal?" I asked him.  
  
"Oh my God! Neal what did you do to your sweat shirt?" this girl asked.  
  
"I just ripped it." Neal said.  
  
"Are you going to get in trouble for that Neal?" David said, "You mom is going to be pissed."  
  
"She won't notice." Neal said.  
  
During the bus ride Neal was still ripping up his shirt and then started to put the shreds in his T-shirt to be a muscle man guy. Everybody was think he was weird and stuff. When we arrived to school I went to my locker and Neal went to his locker. While walking to his locker, Neal went in front of the gym and took the shreds of his sweat shirt and placed it behind the gym. While he did this, Neal dropped his scissors and dripped some of the blood from his nose on the scissors and the rest of his sweat shirt. The bell rang and then we all had to run to our classrooms before we were late. While we were in our classrooms with our teaching boring stuff to us, a police man was patrolling the school. He then saw the shreds of the sweat shirt, the scissors and the blood stains on it. So he ran into the office to tell Dr. Carrillo, our principal.  
  
"Hey Dr. Carrillo, we got ourselves a problem." the police man said.  
  
"What is it sergeant?" Dr. Carrillo said and the police man showed the blood stained shirt and shreds of the shirt.  
  
"Well, don't get to overreacted sergeant. After all it could be some trash with cherry juice on it." Dr. Carrillo said.  
  
"Let's take it to the police station and take a blood test first to be sure." the police man said and took the shreds, and scissors for a blood test.  
  
It was the end of second period so we go to computer class where Neal, Brian a really great friend and I get to meet up and talk to each other.  
  
"So Neal, where did you put your sweat shirt?" I asked him.  
  
"I put it behind the gym." Neal said.  
  
"Okay, and does Brian know about it." I asked him.  
  
"Yeah, Neal told me." Brian said, "Shut up until lunch or we might get in trouble." So as usual we listen to our daily computer lesson.  
  
The sergeant got back from the police station and told the principal the bad news. He said that he did the blood test and the blood came from Neal Gross (my friend). The sergeant said that he was dead and told him that he was murdered. The principal then went in the intercom to contact the whole school.  
  
BEEP-"I am sorry to disrupt the class but your fellow student Neal Gross is....... DEAD! There will be a funeral for Neal Gross made by the school and I would like every students, teachers, and parents to come. Thank you for your time"- BEEP  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Why did he die? I thought he went home sick." Brian said, "Why must the young die so soon?"  
  
"CALM DOWN BRIAN! There has to be an answer to this so called "murder" and lets try to solve it Brian" I said, "We could sneak into Neal's house when his mom isn't there and see if he's still alive."  
  
"Okay." Brian said, "WHYYYY!!!!???"  
  
"DUDE! Calm down!" I yelled. So we did the plan after school and went to Neal's house. When we got there Neal was sitting there watching T.V.  
  
"Hey Neal, how are you feeling?" I asked.  
  
"A little better, I guess" Neal said.  
  
"Dude you won't guess what happened today at school." Brian said, "The principal told the whole school that you were dead. It was hilarious!"  
  
"They got the idea when they found a blood stained, ripped up sweat shirt and blood on scissors nearby." I said, "And there's going to be a funeral on Tuesday next week."  
  
"Oh god!! Oh damn! Oh shit!!" Neal was frustrated, "Man, how can I cause all of this just because of my stupidity? Man, this sucks!"  
  
"Well we could find another body substituting for you, but then how will you continue you life?" Brian said.  
  
"Hey I got an idea, Brian can you go look up Hypnosis on the Internet?" I said.  
  
"Sure" Brian said and went to do some research.  
  
"I have an idea that will even amaze me!" I said, "Mwua ha ha ha ha! Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!"  
  
"Thanks guys." Neal said. Neal's mom then came through the front door and dropped off the groceries.  
  
"Hide guys!!" Neal said. I hid behind Neal's bed and Brian hid under his bed. While Neal's mom was unpacking groceries, the phone rang.  
  
"Neal, can you get that?" Neal's mom asked.  
  
"Sure." Neal said and picked up the phone.  
  
"Hello this is Dr. Carrillo may I speak to Muriel Gross?"  
  
"Sure, Mom phone!!"  
  
"Thanks honey. Hello who's this?"  
  
"This is Dr. Carrillo from the middle school Neal is attending." Dr. Carrillo said, "I have bad news about Neal."  
  
"Is about his grades or what he did in school?" Neal's mom asked.  
  
"No, it's worse than that. It's hard to say this but Neal is...." Dr. Carrillo was starting to cry.  
  
"Neal is what?" Neal's mom said.  
  
"Neal is... DEAD." Dr. Carrillo said, "I am sorry about Neal, we found his sweat shirt and there were blood stains on it so we did a blood test."  
  
"OH MY GOD!" Neal's mom yelled, "Are you positive because I just saw-"  
  
"Yes I am positive." Dr. Carrillo said cutting into Neal's mom sentence, "We have arranged a funeral for Neal on Tuesday next week. I hope you can attend. Good Bye."  
  
Dr. Carrillo hung up and Neal listened to the whole conversation. Neal was pissed and hoped that his friends could help him.  
  
"Simon, I hope your plan works." Neal said, "Because if it doesn't then I am dead!"  
  
"Don't worry Neal. Brian, write down the site, lets leave." I said, "And Neal, when we are getting everything planned out, find the address of our substitute...... Homer Simpson."  
  
"Sure. Got it" Brian said, "Let's go."  
  
TO BE CONTINUED......  
  
~  
  
A/N: Hey you like it so far? I am working on the second part. Please read and review! : ) on the next part we go to Springfield, Evergreen Terrace to meet our favorite family, The Simpsons! 


	2. Part Two

Humorous  
Horror  
Part Two  
The Journey to  
Springfield!!  
  
The next day we had to come up with a plan to go to Springfield and not let our parents know. We needed money for transportation too so I was going to call my good friend Jerry. I needed to call him because if we combine our allowances it will be more than enough for 2 trips to and back from Springfield.  
  
"Hey Jerry" I said.  
  
"Yeah what?" Jerry asked.  
  
"Well, I need your help to go to Springfield" I said, "We also need aï¼"  
  
"Wait! Whoa, whoa! You are going to Springfield?" Jerry asked, "Dude if I have to pay anything I wont help you. You already eat my lunch everyday at school!"  
  
"Well yeah butï¼" I said.  
  
"BUT NOTHING!" Jerry said, "Also why should I help you?"  
  
"Cuz, uh uh" I couldn't come up with a good answer, "Just C'mon! We wont use all your money we're going to combine our allowances. Plus I need your help to get a picture of Rudy Giuliani."  
  
"Fine!" Jerry said, "And why are we going to Springfield?"  
  
"You'll see! See you tomorrow. Meet at my house." Alright, since now we have Brian, Jerry, and I helping Neal we shouldn't screw up this mission. The next hour I called Brian to come over to my house and bring the hypnotism instructions and his allowance. I also called Neal to do the same thing except to bring the address of Homer Simpson. I then had to call my cousin to give us a ride to the airport and I also had to order tickets. I was lucky; I bought 4 tickets just for $200 and that was a great discount. I also came up of a plan to fool our parents and got a ride to the airport. The next day Jerry was the first to arrive.  
  
"Hey Jerry come on in." I said, "So you want to know why we have to go?"  
  
"Yeah! Duh!" Jerry said. I told him how we need to find a substitute body for Neal and other information. Then Neal came.  
  
"I got the address." He said, "So when are we going to leave?"  
  
"As soon as Brian comes." I said, "Jerry, Neal grab something to eat and hurry."  
  
"Oh yeah does our parents know we are leaving?" Jerry asked.  
  
"Heck no, I just said that we were going over to Brian's house and have a sleepover, and he told his mom he was going to have one at Neal's house."  
  
"You better make sure this plan works." Neal said while eating a turkey sandwich, "Cuz if it doesn't I am going to make a fool out of you by turning you into a foolish clown!"  
  
"So?" I said while eating a turkey sandwich.  
  
"WHO IS A FOOL!" Neal said, "Mwua Ha Ha Ha Ha!"  
  
"NOOOOOO!!!!!!"  
  
Brian came over and I told him that we were getting a ride from my cousin. When we were at the airport we had 5 minutes left before takeoff. We all ran to the plane and got to our 1st class seats.  
  
"Good job Simon!" Jerry said.  
  
"Yeah!" Brian and Neal said.  
  
Beep-"Please buckle your seatbelts. We are now preparing to lift off. It will take about 2 hours to arrive at the airport of Springfield. Also please turn off all electronics until further notice. Thank you!"-Beep  
  
The plane ride was short, and we have arrived in Springfield. We called a cab and we went to Krusty's Burgers to get something to eat and went to the Kwik-E-Mart to buy some snacks. Good thing we brought our allowance. We then went to Androids Dungeon to buy some comics to read for going back to San Diego because we were bored on the first trip. Then we saw this guy wearing glasses.  
  
"Howdy-Diddly-Doo!" he said, "What brings you city folks to Springfield." At that moment we all knew who he was by the way he talked.  
  
"Hey, Ned Flanders!" we all said.  
  
"How you Flanderses doing?" I asked.  
  
"Well pretty well. So who are you looking for?" Ned said.  
  
"Well, we are looking for the address Evergreen Terrace 1184." Jerry said.  
  
"Hmm, 1184?" Ned asked.  
  
"Yes, 1184, the Simpsons family?" Neal said.  
  
"Who are you looking for? Homer, Lisa, Marge, Maggie, or Bart?" Ned asked.  
  
"We're lookin for Homer." Brian said.  
  
"Alright, do you boys need a ride?" Ned asked.  
  
"Sure." We all said.  
  
We went inside Flanders's car and saw a whole bunch of Christianity. Neal and Jerry were about to crack up because of the music Ned was listening so I put up my own music.  
  
"Hey, Mr. Flanders, Can I play my own music?" I asked.  
  
"Of course" Ned said, "As long its not-  
  
Song playing:  
  
*Cut my life into pieces!  
  
This is my last resort!  
  
Suffocation! No breathing!  
  
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm Bleeding!*  
  
"Turn that off!" Ned said, "That is just wrong, you kids shouldn't be listening to that! Here's what my kids listen to."  
  
*I love you, you love me.  
  
We're as happy as can be,  
  
If you-*  
  
"Okay we're here." Ned said.  
  
"Thanks!" we all said while we were cracking up so hard after we got out.  
  
We were now in front of the house that our substitute lives. We went up to door and rang the doorbell. We were at the Simpson's house.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED.....  
  
~ A/N: Hope you like this chapter, on the next one were going to get caught but good thing that we made friends with Bart Simpson. 


	3. Part Three

Humorous  
Horror  
Part Three  
Getting Caught!  
  
A/N: Here's the second chapter of Humorous Horror. Hope you enjoy! :) ~  
  
We rang the door bell and then out of nowhere a cat jumped on Neal's face.  
  
"Snowball get off of his face!" the voice said, "Sorry about that, my names Lisa."  
  
"Hey, what's up?" I said, "My name is Simon, and these are my friends."  
  
"Hi, I'm Jerry"  
  
"Hey, I'm Neal."  
  
"And I'm... so beautiful, I mean I'm BRIAN!"  
  
"You don't have to yell, I'm not deaf!" Lisa said, "So what brings you city like folk to Springfield Simon?"  
  
"Well we were looking for Homer, is he there?" I asked.  
  
"Who's at the door Lisa!?" a voice said, "Don't talk to strangers!"  
  
"These people are looking for dad mom!" Lisa said, "Can they come in?"  
  
"Sure! Bart, get the snacks we have guests!" Lisa's mom said.  
  
"Alright, alright! Don't have a cow man!" Bart said.  
  
We went inside and sat at the couch. Brian was acting all weird but I didn't know why. After meeting Lisa, he was all jumpy.  
  
"Who are you guys?" Bart asked.  
  
"He's Simon" Lisa said, "And they are Brian, Neal and Jerry."  
  
"Look like nerds to me." Bart said, "They're your kind Lis!"  
  
"Nerds?" I yelled, "If I'm such a nerd how come I have the millennium edition action figure of Krusty the Clown?"  
  
"You have-  
  
"Yes, with 15 clown phrases, and comes with a pie catapult." I said, "Guess I'm a nerd huh?"  
  
"Here are some coffee and cigarettes, gentlemen" Lisa's mom said and then she looked at us.  
  
"Uh we aren't allowed to smoke and I don't think we are supposed to have coffee." Brian said.  
  
"Oh, Lisa get the cookies, and Bart get the milk." Lisa's mom said, "Hello, my name is Marge and Homer won't be back until later."  
  
We were so hungry that we ate all the cookies and milk. I was talking to Bart how we got here and what happened at our school. When Lisa was sitting with us on the couch, Brian was all red and passed out.  
  
"Someone do CPR on Brian" Jerry yelled, "You do it Simon!"  
  
"Hell no, I'm not a gay!" I said, "You do it Neal!"  
  
"No!" Neal said.  
  
"Arggh, I'll do it!" Lisa said and she put her mouth on Brian's and did CPR.  
  
"You've saved my life!" Brian said.  
  
"Ahh, it was nothing." Lisa said.  
  
"Ay Carumba!" Bart yelled, "That was just wrong."  
  
After that horrible event I told how we need Homer to be a substitute for Neal. After a couple of hours Homer entered the door.  
  
"Marge!!" Homer said, "I'm hungry can you make your pork chops?"  
  
"Sure Homie!" Marge said, "Oh yeah, we have guests today."  
  
"Doh!" Homer yelled, "Is it Patty and Selma?"  
  
"No, they're Bart's friends."  
  
"Hey what's up Homer?" I said, "I'm Simon"  
  
"Yo, I'm Neal."  
  
"I'm Jerry"  
  
"And I'm Brian"  
  
"Hey kids, so I haven't seen you around." Homer said, "What brings you to Springfield? And Bart give me a beer!"  
  
"Get it your self you fat lard!" Bart said laughing  
  
"Why you!?" Homer was strangling Bart.  
  
"Dude, stop!" Brian said. Homer stopped and we went to the dinner table.  
  
"Mmmm! Pork Chops!" Homer said while drooling. Over dinner, I was telling Homer about what happened at our school and how he can help us.  
  
"No, I will not help you!" Homer yelled, "I'm more than a "substitute body"; I have a complex mind that this world will never-  
  
Lisa snaps her fingers.  
  
"Understand!"  
  
"We know that but we really need your help!" I said, "Jerry do your stuff."  
  
Jerry held up a Rudy Giuliani picture and said, "I am Rudy Giuliani and you must help Simon."  
  
"I must help Simon" Homer said hypnotized, "Wait a minute! You can't fool me!"  
  
"I know" Brian said, "So will you not don't help us?"  
  
"Uhh, uhh" Homer was stammering, "No!"  
  
"Then that means you help us!" Brian said.  
  
"DOH!" Homer yelled.  
  
"Ha!" Bart said, "You're so dumb- arrgh!  
  
"WHY YOU?!"  
  
After dinner, Marge said that we could stay over until Monday. So we have 2 days before the funeral. We were watching The Krusty the Clown show and saw Itchy and Scratchy show. After about 8 o'clock a cop knocked down the door.  
  
"I'm Chief Wiggums! And we're looking for Simon, Jerry, Brian, and Neal!"  
  
"Oh SHIT!" I yelled, "RUN FOR IT!!"  
  
TO BE CONTINUED......  
  
~  
  
A/N: Well here's Chapter 2, hope you like it, please read and review. On the next part we are gonna travel to San Diego and hope our plan will work. It won't be up till like a week or something because of school... 


	4. Part Four

Humorous  
Horror  
Part Four  
Back to San Diego!  
  
A/N: Sorry I didn't update for a while but I was busy with school. Well enough about me here's Part 4! ~  
  
The cops were after us and we needed a place to hide and not get caught by them but the plane I booked was going to leave in 30 minutes.  
  
"Hurry, go out the window to the back yard!" Bart said. So we jumped out the window after grabbing our money and belongings.  
  
"Homer, c'mon with us! We really need your help." Brian said, "And if you help I'll buy you a couple dozen donuts at Lard Lad's."  
  
"Oh fine!" Homer said, "Leave it to the bald and fat man to help 3 little kids that are in need."  
  
"Hurry Homer, they're coming!" Bart yelled.  
  
"Hey open up!" Chief Wiggum said, "There's no use in running we got the whole front yard surrounded!"  
  
"Good luck kids!" Marge said, "And Homie come back soon."  
  
"Dad, what you are doing is really heroic." Lisa said.  
  
"Oh thanks Lisa"  
  
"No time for talking!" I said, "We have to go NOW, NOW, NOW!!!!  
  
"Oh alright!" Homer said and ran through the window so we went into Bart's tree house.  
  
"Help!!" Homer yelled.  
  
"What is it now?" Jerry said.  
  
"I'm stuck!!" Homer said, "Give me a hand will you?" Homer was stuck in the window because he was so fat, so Bart, Lisa and Marge pushed Homer and Jerry, Brian and Neal pulled on him to get him unstuck while I was searching for a hideout until we could go to the airport to go back to San Diego and then I saw a vault like thing in the backyard of Homer's neighbor. I figured we wouldn't fit in the tree house so after Homer was free we jumped the fence to go to the vault.  
  
"Who built this?" I asked.  
  
"Ah, the no good Flanders built it" Homer said, "Just in case they needed a hideout to hide from a burglar or something, what a sissy."  
  
"Sissy or not" Neal said, "This would make a great hiding spot to hide from those cops! It has water, food and comics!"  
  
"I knew Flanders wasn't all goody, goodies." Homer said, "So what kind of magazines does he have?" Homer was looking at the magazines but the cops were still here. I could hear the clamor the sirens are making and then I heard the front door open.  
  
"Hey coppers!!" I heard Lisa yelled, "They aint here."  
  
"Yeah, they went to Lard Lad's to get a dozen of free donuts!" Bart said.  
  
"Hmm free donuts heh?" Chief Wiggums said, "Well boys why don't we just wrap things up here and go to Lard Lads?"  
  
"Yeah, that sounds good Chief." said one of the officers.  
  
"It's safe now!" Bart yelled.  
  
"Thanks Bart!" Jerry said, "C'mon we have to go to the airport Homer."  
  
"But what about the free donuts at Lard Lad's?" Homer said, "Mmmm, donuts!"  
  
"Later!" I yelled, "We promised we would get you a couple dozen after you helped us out, so c'mon!"  
  
"Oh, alright!" Homer said, "Stupid kids thinking they could boss me around!"  
  
We got out of the vault and we went to Homers car and once Homer started to start the car, I saw Lisa come out and opened the door.  
  
"I know you had feelings for me, but I'm sorry Brian" Lisa said.  
  
"How did you find out?" Brian said embarrassed.  
  
"I knew by the way you acted." Lisa said, "But my heart belongs to someone else."  
  
"C'mon hurry up you two young lovers!!" Homer said, "I got to go to the airport and go to the bathroom! I got to go pee!!!  
  
"Who is it?" Brian said sadly, "Do I know him?  
  
"Well actually yeah, he's sitting next to you." Lisa said and leaned forward to give a light kiss to Jerry on the mouth in the back seat. "Good bye!" During the ride I could see there was hatred in Brian's eyes because for all I know Lisa was his first crush and now he found out that his crush didn't like him instead she liked his best friend.  
  
"C'mon!" Homer yelled, "I got to go pee!!!" We could see the airport but an old lady was blocking the road and Homer didn't want to run her over.  
  
"Move out of the way, you old hag!!" Jerry and Neal yelled.  
  
"Oh fine!" Homer yelled and drove the car straight at the old lady. The old hag moved out of the way and stuck her middle finger at us.  
  
"Watch where you are driving dumb ass!"  
  
We arrived at the airport and Homer went to the bathroom. The plane that I booked was gonna leave in 10 minutes so we ate some of the chips we bought at the Kwik-E-Mart and drank some Buzz Cola while Homer was in the bathroom. Once Homer got out we ran to our plane gave our tickets to the flight attendant and she directed us to the First Class part.  
  
"Wow I never sat in first class!" Homer said, "There's head phones and mini TVs on the back of the comfy seats!!"  
  
While Homer was watching the TV, I turned to the seat behind to talk to Brian about Lisa.  
  
"Dude Brian, I'm sorry." I said, "I didn't know she like-liked me and Jerry didn't too."  
  
"Yeah Brian, I didn't like-like her." Jerry said sitting on the seat next to me.  
  
"Yeah I know" Brian said, "I forgive you guys and all but-  
  
"Hey can you guys shut up?" Neal said sitting on the seat next to Brian, "Brian you could find someone else. It's not like she's the only girl!"  
  
"Yeah boy" Homer said, "Lisa's still small, and maybe you guys could come visit us or something? Huh? Huh? Answer me!!! I can't hear you! Noo!!! I'm deaf!!!" I pulled off Homers earphones and told him he wasn't deaf and to go back and watch his TV.  
  
Beep-Please buckle your seatbelts and turn off all your cell phones. We are now preparing to lift off. You will receive free peanuts if you sit in the lower classes and you will receive some shrimp cocktail if you sit in the First Class section. Thank you for coming please enjoy the flight.-Beep  
  
We buckled our seatbelts and we were on our way to San Diego. After like 10 minutes after the lift off, Homer already ate 10 full plates of cocktail shrimp. While Brian, Jerry and Neal was all asleep, I asked Homer a question.  
  
"Okay, you know what we are going to do right?" I asked, "Once we get to San Diego I'll tell you the plan but the main idea is for you to be the substitute body and then we create a distraction to draw everyone away from the coffin and then Neal, Jerry, Brian and I will get you out and you go to the nearest bathroom or what ever place you could find and hide until the funeral is over. Then we will meet in the parking lot and you can go back to Springfield. Okay?"  
  
I looked over at Homer and found out that he was asleep so I guess I could take a rest and enjoy the trip while it lasted. I just hoped that my plan will work.  
  
~ A/N: Hey this is part four hoped you liked it. The next part we are just gonna hang and chill because of the police finding us we still had 3 days left but then we have a big problem for my plan to work. Read the next part to find what it is! Please read and review! 


	5. Part Five

Humorous

Horror

Part Five

Trapped in the Airport?

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but I had writers block after those horrible/good reviews for my Family Guy fan fic and I had trouble coming up with new ideas. Well in this part we are back to San Diego and we find out that the cops are onto us. When we started to leave the airport we were surrounded.

Beep-We have arrived to the San Diego airport. All passengers may get off and wait for you luggage at the airport. Hope you enjoyed the flight!-Beep

"C'mon Homer wake up!!" I keep slapping his face.

"Hey Simon, try waking him up by yelling lamb chops." Jerry says.

"Okay" I take a deep breath and yell, "HEY HOMER, THEY'RE SERVING LAMB CHOPS AT THE AIRPORT!!!!"

"Lamb Chops!?" Homer wakes up, "Then what are we standing here for? Let's get off!!"

"Told you" Jerry says while he gets off the plane.

After getting off the plane, we notice that we were all hungry and there was a restaurant in the airport so we go there to get some food.

"So, we still have one more day to still plan things out because we got back early." Brian was eating a hot dog that he bought from the restaurant at the airport.

"Yeah I know. That's good because we could see if there are any flaws."

"Hey Simon, can we go to Sea World and see those little dolphins do the flips and see Shamu?" Homer says while eating a steak.

"That's not what you are here for Homer." Neal says, "But maybe if...WE ACTUALLY PULL THIS THING OFF!"

"I thought we have to pull this off or your life is all going to be screwed up Neal?" Jerry says with a mouthful of fries,

"Hey, one time I faked me own death with a fake dummy and I met my lost mother that I haven't seen for 27 years!" Homer says, "And that was the best $600 I ever spent!"

After some chow we headed to go outside the airport and get a taxi to go to Brian's house since his parents knows that Brian was having a "sleepover" with his friends. We started to leave when I noticed that there were an unusually amount of cops outside.

"Hey Brian, are there usually cops with rifles, shields and these electric stinger devices at airports." I ask

"First of all those cops are called the S.W.A.T team and no, there aren't usually those kinds of – "Lets find another way out." Brian said with pauses.

"Oh I think I know why they are here!" Jerry says, "I bet that they are here for-

"Shut up Jerry!" Homer covers Jerry's mouth, "Hey boys, know any other exits?"

"Well, if I was the leader of the team, I would have all the airport exits guarded or blocked." I exclaimed.

"Hmm, hey I know" Neal says with an idea, "You still have your cell phone Simon?"

"Yeah, oh I know!" I take out my cell phone and start dialing the phone number for our Brian's family taxi guy.

"A cell phone?" Homer says "Oh sure, make fun of the poor fat guy who doesn't even have a computer. Well I don't think you have those widescreen TVs now do ya?"

"Actually... we all have one Homer." Jerry says.

"You know what??" Homer stammers, "Why do I have to be the substitute? I mean what kind of police teams do you have? They stink!!! Their first suggestion of a piece of cloth, scissors and some blood led to a dead boy!"

"Well um...I searched dumb human organism suitable for a dead body substitute." Brian says with shame, "And the first result was Homer Simpson then Ned Flanders.

"Flanders!?" Homer yells.

"Dude, don't get us caught!" Neal kicks Homer on his knee.

"Flanders?" Homer whispers, "Well I'll show you that I am a much better substitute than goody good Flanders!!!

"Okay then lets go!" Jerry says

"Okay then." Homer replies back quickly

"Okay" Jerry says slowly.

"Yeah." Homer says, "So okay, what were we arguing about?"

"Alright!" I yelled, "Brian, your taxi guy says that we can meet him outside the airport at the park that's a 15 minute walk from here."

"Okay, c'mon lets go!" Neal ran outside where all the planes were while we follow.

I then noticed that Homer just stood there so I went up to him and asked him to hurry up.

"C'mon Homer, what's the holdup?" I ask Homer

"Well it's just that... I don't think that I'm ready with...gay people surrounding me everywhere." Homer whispers

"That's San Francisco!" Neal, Brian, and Jerry say while running back.

"Oh but then how come...you guys came with each other to get me huh?" Homer asks

"Well we all have specialties that can be combined to make an awesome team and we are not gay!" I yell, "We hang out with each other a lot but we all have-

"We all have a crush on someone who's a girl!" Jerry finishes the sentence for me.

"Okay I guess, you sure?" Homer asks, "One time I thought my little man Bart was a homo so I gave some manly tests to him."

"We are not gay!!" Brian yells

"C'mon, let's not waste any time!!"

We ran outside the airport and we met him at the park and he says that it costs a lot for the trip since he had trouble passing the S.W.A.T team guarding the freeway.

"God, we are so dead!" Brian says

"C'mon lets get on the taxi!" I yell

"Hey if they're out here then wouldn't you guys be on TV?" Homer says while getting in the taxi.

"Oh shit!" Neal yells

"C'mon, lets not wasteh any more timeh? The taxi guy says with an Italian accent and we started heading for Brian's house.

"Man you rich kids get all the fun!" Homer says while reading the daily newspaper, "All we got to do when we were kids were to stay out of drugs, eat donuts, and run away like young schoolgirls and- hey look there's a picture of you guys on the front article!"

"Let me see that!" I take the newspaper away, "Oh man, how about you read it Neal?" I'm starting to get motion sickness."

"Don'teh throw up on me car!" The taxi guy hands me a bucket.

"Dude, guys!" Neal yells

"What?" Jerry and Brian replies at the same time.

"Look!" Neal shows them the picture, "Simon, this isn't going to work out."

TO BE CONTINUED...

So how was that, it might not be as good as the other one but I wrote this part with a writer's block so sorry if it suck. Please read and review!


	6. Part Six

Humorous

Horror

Part Six

Help from a Friend

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated awhile, I had a writers block, this chapter might not be as good as the other ones because I still have a writers block so hope you enjoy this. In this chapter we find out that we can't go to Brian's house since our parents finds out we ran away and everyone is looking for us but good thing my friend is letting stay at her house.

Our special guest who's a friend of mine everyone meet the new character in HH...Lucia!!

"What do you mean it won't work Neal?" I grabbed the newspaper quickly, "Oh I know what u mean."

There was a picture of us under the Head News section of the newspaper, "Must be found at all cost, reward of $50,000"

"Dude this sucks!" Brian yelled when he finished reading the section, "There's going to be cops everywhere looking for us even in my....house"

Don'teh yells in me car pleaze?" The taxi driver says.

"Where can we go?" Jerry says looking all confused.

"Well we can go to....but I don't know if she will let us." I ponder

"Whose house is it damn it?" Neal yells, "If I we go to jail if going to go nuts!!"

"I don't know if she'll let me go over to her house!" I yell and take out my cell phone and dial her number.

"OH! I think I know..." Brian whispers something to everyone and I can hear Homer giggling.

"Hello?" Lucia picks up the phone.

"Hello?" I ask her.

"Simon?" She says unsurprised.

"Yeah, this is Simon. Um Lucia I called you to ask you something and I know you are going to say no but this is really important!"

"Yeah I think I know what you want, you want to stay at my house for a day right?" Lucia answers.

"Yeah, did you read about us in the newspaper?"

"Yeah."

"So we can come over?"

"Well..."

"C'mon Lucia, I really need your help! Plus I can hang out with you now that I have the transportation!"

"Okay, fine! Grr!!! She hangs up.

"So what is it Simon?" Brian asks after I hang up, "Can we go?"

"Yes we can but we have to be on the best behavior okay, so no cursing Neal, no spazzing out Jerry, don't call anyone hobos Brian, and Homer please don't act foolish like you always do okay."

"Okay." Everyone answers.

"Hey taxi driver, can you take us to this address?" I show him the address of Lucia's house.

"Sure but uh it will costeh you some extra money." The taxi driver rubs his fingers together.

"Fine here's the money." I reach in my pocket and give him the rest of my allowance, "Hey guys I'm out of money we have to use yours now."

The taxi driver pulls over and takes a map to see where the new location is.

"Now I know that you aren't gay Simon." Homer laughs, "I don't think you're gay after that Neal told me that you had a girlfriend."

"Ooh!" Everyone starts to annoy me.

"She is not my girlfriend okay you bastards?" I yell, "She's just a good friend who's a girl! And anyone who dare says that to my face again will have to deal with my fists!"

After that speech everyone was silent. The taxi driver comes in and starts driving again. In the taxi we're all board and we had nothing to do. Everyone was asleep and we at least an hour away from Lucia's house so I guess that Ill just take a nap too. I put on my head phones turn on my CD player put in a Linkin Park disc in it and go to sleep.

"Heyeh, wake eh upeh! We are here!" The taxi driver keeps poking me out in the driveway of Lucia's house, "We are uh hereh!"

"Okay then, stop poking me!" I got out of the car and walked towards the door.

TO BE CONTINUED.....

A/N: Sorry for such a short chapter, I had a writers block so yeah. I'm watching more Simpsons to come up with more ideas, so the last parts of this Fan-Fic will come probably in 2 or 1 weeks. So please read and review! :)


	7. Part Seven

Humorous

Horror

Part Seven

The Plan...

A/N: Guess I'll be updating sooner than I thought, well in this part we discuss the plan, and sort of go over it and get ready but getting the supplies will be on the next part, so this part might be really short I don't know....enjoy!

Before I rang the doorbell, I wondered, will Lucia be awake? I mean it's really late so I decided not to wake her up if she was sleeping.

"Hey guys, lets just sleep on the front yard?" I turn away from the door, "I mean its really late lets get some rest and I don't want to wake her up."

"Okay, fine!" Everyone yells at me.

"But I have to go PEE!!" Homer runs around in circles, "I don't think I can hold it!"

"Okay fine, I'll ring the doorbell!" I run up to the door and ring the doorbell and heard footsteps walking towards the door.

"Hey Simon, what's up?" Lucia opens the door and lets us in.

"Hey Lucia, thanks for letting us stay here I really appreciate it." I ask

"No prob. How long are you guys going to stay-

"Can I use the bathroom um whatever your name is?" Homer runs towards the door.

"Sure, the bathroom is just around that corner past the kitchen." Lucia points the direction.

"So, can we come in or what?" I ask.

"Oh yeah, um my parents are asleep so lower down your voices. Brian, Neal, and Jerry um you guys have to sleep in the garage." Lucia lets us in.

"What, how come?" Brian, Neal Jerry yells.

"You want to stay here or not?" Lucia yells back.

"Fine!" Brian, Neal, and Jerry go into the garage.

"Ahh! Sweet relief!" Homer comes out of the bathroom, "Hey where can I get some beer or beef? I'm starved!"

"Hey Lucia, where can I sleep?" I ask, "Do I have to sleep outside?"

"Uh no, you can go to the garage. Oh and "bald and fat guy" you can make a sandwich in the kitchen. I'm going to go to sleep, I'll talk to you tomorrow and all of you stay in the garage until my parents are away."

"Darn, I thought I get to sleep upstairs in your room on the floor." I go inside the garage with Brian, Neal and Jerry.

"Hey! You guys don't have cheese!" Homer opens the refrigerator.

"We don't like cheese!" Lucia goes to her room upstairs.

"No cheese? You guys are monsters! How can you not have sweet, sweet cheese?" Oh delicious, you guys are MONSTERS!!!"

After making his sandwich, Homer goes inside the garage and falls down and falls asleep. The next morning Lucia woke us up after her parents left.

"What time is?" Brian asks, "I'm starved!'

"Yeah, me too." Neal says.

"Okay, I'll guess I can make you some food." Lucia walks out of the garage with Neal and Brian following.

"Hey Lucia, wait up." I walk into the kitchen. Homer and Jerry are still asleep so we can't discuss the plan yet until they wake up. After eating brunch, I woke Homer and Jerry up.

"Huh, where am I!" Homer yells, "Who are you? Where's Marge!"

"Um Homer it's me, Simon." I try to calm him down, "You're here to help us with Neal?"

"Oh, okay." Homer gets up, "I remember. Sorry about that."

"Man what's the time?" Jerry walks out of the garage. After everyone waking up we sit in the living room.

"Okay, we need to discuss the plan and it needs to be flawless!" I slam my fists on the table.

"Okay so what's the big plan?" Homer asks.

"Yeah! What is the big plan?" Everyone yells.

"Well the plan is...

"Simon? Hello? Are you there?" Brian snaps his fingers in front of my eyes when I was staring at Lucia.

"Umm..." I reply.

"Focus, Simon!" Jerry punches me on the arm.

"Simon, why are you staring at me?" Lucia asks.

"Oh yeah, okay the plan, um." I said feeling embarrassed, "Okay, so we know that-

"Lover boy can't think straight." Homer whispers to Neal.

"Excuse me?" Jerry yells, "It seems to me that Simon is explaining the plan to us."

"Oh, excuse me; I'll be upstairs playing the computer." Lucia leaves the living room.

"Okay, so we know that Homer is the substitute right?" I get back on track, "Well we have to replace whatever is inside the coffin with Homer with some sort of air supply that can last him at least 6 hours."

"I know, how about an air tank?" Jerry says.

"Nah, how about not an air tank?" Brian says with sarcasm, "Of course an air tank, you HOBO!!

"Okay, so we need an air tank, we can probably get that tomorrow because there's still a day left before the Funeral day. Second, we need to be able to get Homer out of the coffin and the grave after the six hours. So we have to meet in the parking lot. But there might be tough security so we need to get some weapons first."

"I know a place where we can get some pistols and machine guns." Neal says.

"Okay good, third we have to get out of there and fast! Then we go to the airport and send Homer home."

"Woo-hoo!" Homer jumps up.

"Okay we got it right?"

"Yeah, we got it." Everyone replies.

"Darn, I thought I would be able to go to Sea World!" Homer frowns.

"Maybe if we make it." Brian replies.

"Okay, so you guys stay here. I'm going to go up and thank Lucia for being so nice to us." I go up into her room.

"Think lover boy, is going to make his move." Homer giggles.

"Yeah, sure." Jerry says, "Hey lets eavesdrop.

"Okay" Everyone replies.

"So Lucia thanks."

"For what?"

"For helping us, I really appreciate it."

"No prob."

"Yeah, okay so when can we hang out again?"

"Soon, hey do you need any help?" Lucia changes the subject.

"Maybe, if you want to come. It might be dangerous and I don't want you to get harmed.

"I can handle myself."

"Okay, so we're leaving tomorrow."

"Okay."

"Yeah can I watch TV downstairs?"

"Knock yourself out!"

"Thanks!"

"I'll come down later. Okay?"

"Sure." I go down stairs and saw the guys cracking up.

"Oh, you guys are asses but thanks for helping me." Neal says seriously

"No, prob." Everyone says.

I sit on the couch and grab the remote and turn on the T.V. and we just chill. Tomorrow we get ready for the big day. I just hope that it all works out.

TO BE CONTINUED.....

A/N: Yeah on the next part we get some AK-47s', M16s, some Uzis, and some 9 millimeter pistols. I also get my hair spiked and get one of those coats that Neo wears in The Matrix when he rescues Morpheus. But first I got to research on some guns; the next park will probably come next week. Please read and review. :)


	8. Part Eight

Humorous

Horror

Part Eight

Preparations

A/N: Sup...haven't updated a loooooong time bcuz of school and stuff well here's part 8 I'm probably going to finish this story up soon. And im trying to think of a new topic to write about. Well enjoy! RR: )

It's almost time for Neal's funeral and tomorrow we prepare.....for now we're just chilling at Lucia's house and hope the cops don't find out we're here.

"I'm bored." Jerry yawns

"Me too." Brian puts his feet on the table, "Let me see what's on." Brian snatches the remote out of my hand and starts clicking through the channels.

"I want a beer." Homer complains.

"Homer...I don't think Lucia's has any beer." Neal says, "I thought she was going to come down soon. Where is she Simon?"

"I don't know. She's probably doing book reports again for her Basic Ed Teacher."

Lucia comes down and sits on the couch and steals the remote from Brian and turns it to channel 33.

"So what's up guys?" Lucia says while staring at the T.V.

"Not much...we're just bored." I lean back.

"I have some games that you guys might play." Lucia points at her PS2

"SWEET!! GAMES!!" Brian, and Jerry get excited.

"I'm bad at games; I'll just go to sleep." Homer dozes off.

"Geez calm down guys." Lucia takes out her PS2 games.

"Well what do you have?" Neal asks.

"Hmm..." Lucia looks through the games, "I got Jak and Daxter, Pac Man, Harry Potter, and this shooting game that belongs to my dad. It's creepy."

"Uhhh...got any other games Lucia?" Jerry looks disappointed.

"I got a Game boy Advance." Lucia gets her Game boy.

"Jerry...you're so picky." Brian plays the Game boy, "Games are games...and we haven't played games for a long time so I don't care."

"True." Jerry looks through the games choosing.

Video games are our hobbies...we are pretty good at playing games. While Neal, Jerry, and Brian are playing video games, and Homer is sleeping, I decide to talk to Lucia.

"So Lucia, how can I pay you back?" I ask

"Well you can pay me back by not getting me a giant...HELLO KITTY!!"

"Noooo...that's ok." I take out my wallet, "Here's some money."

"I don't need your pity..." Lucia doesn't accept the money.

"Ok...then I guess I have no choice but to..." I flip to Lucia's picture in my wallet.

"Noooo...AHH!!! It burns!!" Lucia pretends that she's going blind, "Put it away!! I'll take you're money!!"

"Ok." I put the wallet away cracking up.

After a few hours Lucia's parent come home and we hide in the garage.

"Hurry, go into the garage!!" Lucia pushes us. "Hurry!!"

"Ok...I'll see you later Lucia." I wait for Homer to go into the garage, "Can I call you like on Wednesday?"

"If you have a death wish." Lucia laughs, "Ok...bye Simon" The door closes.

"Good thing they don't use the garage." Neal whispers.

"But wait a minute...I thought garages are for cars not for a hideout." Homer gets confuse, "So if there aren't any cars in here, then this isn't a garage? Everything I know is a LIE!!"

"Shut up Homer!!" I kick him, "Brian what time is it?"

"It's almost 6 o'clock." Brian takes out his cell phone, "We better leave now."

"Ok...call for a taxi or something and give the address to the guy." I tell Brian the address, "Neal and Jerry...open the garage door."

We head outside and wait in front of Lucia's house for the taxi to arrive. After a few minutes the same Italian guy who drove us to Lucia's house came. We went in and went to a hotel that was near a gun store and a clothing center. We book hotel room and rest. The next morning, the alarm wakes everyone up.

"I don't want to wake up!" Homer groans, "I'm going to back to sleep."

"Ok then. Your choice." I say while changing my cloths, "We're going to go shopping...want anything?"

"Get me some donuts...and beer!" Homer goes back to sleep.

We all change our cloths and start heading out for the door.

"Ok...who's got the money?" Brian asks, "And where are we going exactly?"

"Neal and I have the money Brian." Jerry takes out his wallet and Neal does the same.

"And we're going to a gun store next to this hotel to get some weapons and going to the store across the road to get some new cloths." Neal says.

"Ok then lets go."

We leave the hotel and walk to the store that sells guns that's right across the parking lot. We head into the store and we see a gun dealer.

"Let me see some ID little boys." The gun dealer says in a rough voice.

"Uhh..." I went in first so he was looking at me.

"Right here." Jerry takes out an ID card out of his pocket, "Here's my ID, and we only need one. According to the sign in front of your store."

"Let me see that." The gun dealer takes it and examines it.

"Jerry where did you get the ID card?" all of us starts whispering

"I jacked it from the taxi driver..." Jerry says with pride.

"Ok that's all I need. So how may I help you?" The gun dealer leads us through a door to look at some guns, "We got machine guns, sub machine guns, shotguns, rocket launchers, assault rifles, magazines, pistols, body armor and ammunition."

We separate and look at the guns. Neal and Jerry just start getting guns that look cool to them without knowing the info of them. I head to the pistols and Brian goes look at the sub machine guns.

"Hmm...Berettas." I contemplate. "Hey dude, which ones are better? The Beretta model 84FS or the model 92FS?"

The gun dealer comes towards me.

"Well, the model 84FS looks like the 92FS but is smaller. They are reliable..." He cocks the gun, "And accurate but not as powerful as the 92FS"

"I see...I'll take 2 Beretta 92FS's and 2 Browning BDM and I'll also take 2 Glock 18s" I head over to the sub machine guns, "Oh and include 2 extra magazines for each gun please.

"Ahh good choices." The gun dealer gathers the items that I ordered, "You sure know your guns kid."

"So how's it going Brian?" punch him on the shoulder.

"I don't know which one to get..." Brian shrugs, "What kind of pistols did you get?"

"Oh just look over there." I point to the pistols, "Ask the guy if you need help."

"He's scary." Brian walks to the pistols and looks at them.

"I'll choose some sub machine guns for you Brian." I look at the guns.

There were Uzi's, MP7s, HK UMP, MP5Ks, and Scorpions. Not a wide selection but some good guns. I pick out 4 Micro Uzi's, and 4 for Brian, then I pick out 2 MP5Ks for Brian and I. I also choose 2 Scorpions for me and a pair MP7s for Brian with extra magazines and ammunition for all of them of course.

"Hey Brian." I yell to Brian, "These good?" I show him was I got.

"Yeah." Brian then shows me the pile of his guns. They included Desert Eagle's, an AK-47, Glock 17s, a Spas 12 shotgun, and Beretta 84FS.

"Hey Neal and Jerry! Need help?" I ask.

"Nah I'm good." Neal goes trough the front to first part of the store and wait for us.

"Yeah I'm good also." Jerry follows Neal. I look at some rifles then we all head out the door to the front and pay for the guns.

"Wow, you guys have enough money to get all these?" The gun dealer asks.

"Yeah." Jerry waits for the price of the bill.

"Ok I'll need to see your gun licenses also." The gun dealer sticks his hand out.

"Oh..crap." I think but then Jerry took out 5 licenses and showed it to the gun dealer.

"What the heck Jerry?" Brian pushes Jerry, "Don't tell me...

"I jacked them." Jerry pays for the guns.

"Hey you guys need multi gun belt holster or something?" The gun dealer shows us some more items. We take a couple and head for the hotel. Homer is still asleep so we start assembling our guns.

"Ok let's see." I get my sets of guns which included; 4 Micro Uzi's with 8 extra magazines and ammo, 2 MP5K's with 6 extra magazines and ammo, and pairs Scorpions, Beretta 92FS, Browning BMD, Glock 18s and with 2 extra magazines per each gun. I load them with ammo then fit them on my belt holster and I put it under the bed because we have to hide them from Homer.

"Ok what did you get Neal?" I ask Jerry and Neal.

"Uhh..some cool ones..." Jerry took his set of guns which included; an AK-47 like Brian with 2 extra magazines, a set of SP89s and extra 4 magazines total, 2 Beretta Inox and 2 Glock 17s with 4 extra magazines total, pair of Micro Uzi's with 6 extra magazines total and a pair of MP5 with 2 extra magazines. Jerry loads his guns then put them in his belt holster and put it in the closet. Neal had the same set as Jerry because he's been a biter for as long as I've known him.

"Ok..you guys got some good guns.." Brian shows his set which included; 4 Micro Uzi's with 8 extra magazines, an AK-47, a Spas 12 shotgun, and pairs of Desert Eagles, Glock 17s Beretta 84FS and MP7s with 2 extra magazines per each gun. Brian then loads them and puts it in the bathroom.

"Ok." Brian comes out.

"All set?" Neal asks.

"No we're ready..." Jerry says.

"No wait..." I take out my cell phone and call Lucia.

Ring...Ring...Ring..

"Hey Simon. What's up?" Lucia picks up.

"Not much. We got our weapons and now we're going to get some cloths for tomorrow..."

"Oh cool."

"Will you be there at the funeral tomorrow?"

"Maybe..."

"Ok. Then see you tomorrow."

"Ok...well bye."

"Ok...I lo...k bye." I hang up, "Now let's get some cloths and some donuts and beer for Homer...then we'll be ready.

TO BE CONTINUED...

A/N: Well theres part 8...only about 3 more parts to this story then im done...well please RR! : ) later until next time on HUMOROUS HORROR!! Ok that sounded corny...later


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